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Free guide · Texas, Houston & Harris County

After losing a spouse: what to do and where to get help.

We are so sorry for your loss. You do not have to do everything at once, and you do not have to do it alone. This page walks you through the first days, the first weeks, and the first months, one small step at a time. We checked every phone number and fact on official or trusted websites, and we link to each one.

  • Last checked: October 14, 2026
  • Plain language
  • General information, not legal or financial advice

Jump to the printable checklist

Please read: This page is general information, not legal, financial, or tax advice. We do not give advice about money, investments, or taxes. For any financial decision, please talk with a qualified professional you trust. Rules and phone numbers can change, so every key fact links to the source we used. If you are thinking about hurting yourself, call or text 9-8-8 any time. In an emergency, call 9-1-1.

The short answer

  • Take a breath. Most tasks can wait a few days. Ask a friend or family member to sit with you while you make calls.
  • Ask the funeral home to report the death to Social Security and to help you order certified copies of the death certificate.
  • Call Social Security at 1-800-772-1213 to ask about survivor benefits and the one-time $255 payment. You can't apply for survivor benefits online.
  • Need free legal help? Call Lone Star Legal Aid at 713-652-0077 or Houston Volunteer Lawyers at 713-228-0735.
  • Need someone to talk to? Call or text 988, any time, free.

Sources: SSA, Survivors benefits FAQ; USAGov, Agencies to notify; Lone Star Legal Aid; Houston Volunteer Lawyers; 988 Lifeline

The first days

  1. Let the funeral home help

    In most cases, the funeral home reports the death to Social Security. Give them your spouse's Social Security number so they can do this. Social Security then tells Medicare.

    Sources: Medicare, Report a death; USAGov, Agencies to notify

  2. Get certified copies of the death certificate

    Many places will ask for a certified copy (not a photocopy), including Social Security and other agencies, banks and credit card companies, and life insurance or pension plans. Some smaller tasks, like canceling a subscription, may only need a photocopy. Ask each place which kind it needs.

    How many? Make a list of the places that will need one before you order. There is no set number. As a rough estimate, the New York Department of State suggests at least ten, but your own list is the best guide. Funeral homes often handle the order for families, so ask yours first.

    As the spouse, you are an "immediate family member," so you can order copies yourself from:

    • Texas Vital Statistics (DSHS): online, by mail, or in person. Phone 888-963-7111.
    • Houston Health Department, Bureau of Vital Statistics: 8000 North Stadium Drive, Houston, TX 77054. Phone 832-393-4220. Walk-ins Monday to Thursday, 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. (arrive by 3 p.m.). Fridays are for funeral homes and same-day online order pickup only. Bring a photo ID. Checks are not accepted.

    Sources: USAGov, Death certificates; New York Department of State; Texas DSHS, Death Records; Texas DSHS, Who can request records; Houston Health Department, Vital Statistics

  3. If your spouse was a veteran

    The VA can help with burial in a VA national cemetery, a burial allowance, and a headstone or marker. To schedule a burial in a national cemetery, call 800-535-1117. For other VA benefits questions, call 800-827-1000.

    Source: VA, Burial benefits and memorial items

  4. Gather papers in one place

    A folder or box is enough. Useful papers include your spouse's Social Security number, your marriage certificate, any will, insurance papers, bank and bill statements, vehicle titles, and military discharge papers (DD214) if they served. You don't need everything right away.

The first weeks: who to tell

You'll usually need your spouse's Social Security number and a certified death certificate. Keep a simple notebook: who you called, the date, and what they said. (USAGov)

  • Social Security 1-800-772-1213
    TTY 1-800-325-0778. Monday to Friday, 8 a.m. to 7 p.m. If the funeral home did not report the death, call with your spouse's name, Social Security number, date of birth, and date of death. Any Social Security payment for the month of death must be returned. Ask about survivor benefits while you're on the phone.

    Sources: SSA, What to do when someone dies; USAGov

  • Your spouse's employer
    If your spouse was working, contact the employer's human resources office. Ask about final pay, any life insurance through work, any pension or retirement plan, and what happens to your health coverage (see Health coverage).

    Source: U.S. Department of Labor, Death of a Family Member

  • The VA (if a veteran) 800-827-1000
    You must tell the VA to stop compensation, pension, education, or health benefits. You can also ask about survivor benefits. A surviving spouse can apply for Dependency and Indemnity Compensation (DIC), Survivors Pension, and accrued benefits with VA Form 21P-534EZ. VA says you can get help filing from an accredited Veterans Service Organization (VSO) representative, attorney, or claims agent.

    Sources: USAGov; VA, About DIC

  • Medicare and other insurers
    Social Security tells Medicare. Also contact any other health, dental, auto, or home insurance company your spouse had.

    Sources: Medicare; USAGov

  • Banks, credit card companies, and lenders
    Report the death to each one. They will tell you what papers they need. They may ask for proof that you are the spouse or the executor.

    Sources: USAGov; New York Department of State

  • The three credit bureaus: Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion
    Telling them helps prevent identity theft. Ask each one to put a "deceased" alert on your spouse's credit file, and ask for a copy of the credit report so you can see which accounts are open. A surviving spouse or executor can do this. You'll usually send a certified death certificate and proof that you're the spouse or executor.

    Sources: USAGov; New York Department of State; California Attorney General, Identity Theft and the Deceased

  • Driver license and vehicles
    Contact the state motor vehicle office to cancel the license or ID and transfer a vehicle title. In Texas, title transfers happen at your county tax office. If the estate is not going through probate, Texas uses an Affidavit of Heirship for a Motor Vehicle (Form VTR-262), with notarized signatures. If it is, you use Letters Testamentary or Letters of Administration.

    Sources: USAGov; TxDMV, FAQs

  • The Post Office (USPS)
    If you lived together, you can open and manage your spouse's mail. To forward it to a different address, you must go to a Post Office in person with proof that you are the appointed executor or administrator (a death certificate alone is not enough). To cut down on junk mail, you can register your spouse's name on the Deceased Do Not Contact list. Advertising mail should drop within about three months.

    Source: USPS, Mail for the deceased

  • Others
    The local election office (to cancel voter registration), the State Department (to cancel a passport), and state benefit programs like SNAP or Medicaid if your spouse got them. If your spouse was a military retiree, contact DFAS. If they were a federal employee or retiree, contact OPM. Also call utilities and memberships.

    Source: USAGov, Agencies to notify

Social Security survivor benefits

Survivor benefits are monthly payments to some family members of a person who worked and paid Social Security taxes. A surviving spouse may qualify. (SSA, Survivor benefits)

  • How to apply: You can't apply online. Call 1-800-772-1213 (TTY 1-800-325-0778), Monday to Friday, 8 a.m. to 7 p.m., or contact your local Social Security office. (SSA FAQ)
  • The $255 one-time payment: A surviving spouse may get a one-time lump-sum death payment of $255. A spouse who did not live in the same home may still qualify if they can get benefits based on the record of the spouse who died. You must apply within 2 years of the death. (SSA, Lump-sum death payment)
  • How much: Social Security says payments for a surviving spouse start at 71.5% of the spouse's benefit and go up the longer you wait, up to 100% at your full retirement age for survivor benefits (between 66 and 67). Ask Social Security for your own estimate. (SSA, What you could get)
  • If you already get a benefit: If you can get survivor benefits and another benefit, you won't get both added together. Social Security will explain your choices. (SSA)
  • Medicare: You might also get Medicare based on your spouse's work if you're 65 or older or have a disability or end-stage renal disease. (SSA)

Choosing when to start benefits is a financial decision. Social Security can explain the rules. For help deciding, talk with a qualified professional.

Health coverage, life insurance, and pensions

If you had health insurance through your spouse's job

  • You and your dependent children may be able to keep that coverage for up to 36 months under COBRA. The plan should send you a notice. Most plans require you to choose COBRA within 60 days of the notice. (U.S. Department of Labor)
  • If you have a job with health coverage, you may be able to join your own employer's plan. (U.S. Department of Labor)
  • Losing coverage because a family member died can let you sign up for a HealthCare.gov Marketplace plan outside Open Enrollment (a "Special Enrollment Period"), generally within 60 days. (HealthCare.gov)
  • Free, one-on-one Medicare and benefits counseling for people 60 and older is available from the Harris County Area Agency on Aging: 832-393-4301. (Houston Health Department)

Checking for life insurance

Look through papers and bank statements for premium payments, and ask your spouse's employer. The free NAIC Life Insurance Policy Locator lets you submit a search request using information from the death certificate. If a participating company finds a policy and you are the beneficiary, the company will contact you. If nothing is found, you won't be contacted. If your spouse had VA life insurance, ask the VA. (NAIC; USAGov)

Checking for a pension

Ask each past employer's human resources office. If a private company's pension plan ended, the benefits may be held by the Pension Benefit Guaranty Corporation (PBGC). You can search PBGC's unclaimed benefits list by last name and the last four digits of the Social Security number. A match is only a first step: you then call PBGC to confirm. (PBGC)

We only list where to look. For decisions about insurance payouts, pensions, or other money, please talk with a qualified professional.

The first months: probate basics in Texas

Probate is the court process for proving a will is valid and handling a person's property after they die. In Harris County, these cases are handled by the Harris County Probate Courts. Not every family needs the same process. Here are some common types, explained simply. This is not legal advice. A lawyer or legal aid office can tell you what fits your situation. (TexasLawHelp, Probate Court Basics)

  • Time limit for a will
    With very limited exceptions, a will must be filed for probate within four years after the date of death.

    Source: TexasLawHelp

  • Small estate affidavit
    A simpler process that can be used only when there is no will. Some of the rules: the property (not counting the homestead and certain other property) is worth no more than $75,000, the assets are worth more than the debts, and all heirs sign. It can't be filed until at least 30 days after the death. The only real estate it can transfer is a homestead going to a surviving spouse or minor children. There is a filing fee, and it must be approved by the court. Harris County has its own form.

    Sources: TexasLawHelp, Small Estate Affidavits; TexasLawHelp, Small Estate Affidavit guide

  • Probating a will as a "muniment of title"
    When there is a will and, for example, the main thing that needs to change hands is real estate, a court can admit the will as a muniment of title. No executor is appointed. The will and the court's order are recorded in the county deed records to show the new owner. The Texas State Law Library says it's available when there are no debts other than those secured by real estate, or administration isn't needed for another reason.

    Sources: TexasLawHelp; Texas State Law Library

  • Independent administration
    A court appoints an executor (if there's a will) or administrator (if not), who then manages the estate with limited court supervision. It can be requested in the will or set up by the judge if all beneficiaries agree. The court still requires notice to creditors and beneficiaries and a sworn inventory (or an affidavit instead of one) within 90 days.

    Sources: TexasLawHelp; TexasLawHelp, Estate Administration

Good to know: TexasLawHelp says almost all probate cases require a lawyer, while many small estate affidavits can be filed without one. It still suggests talking with a lawyer first, because the filing fee is not refunded if the judge doesn't approve it. Some property, like accounts with a named beneficiary, may pass outside probate. Free help is listed below. (TexasLawHelp; TexasLawHelp)

Watch out for scams

Sadly, some scammers read obituaries and target grieving families.

  • Fake funeral home calls. Someone says they're from the funeral home and that the service will be canceled unless you pay right now. Hang up and call the funeral home at a number you know is real, like the one on its price list. (FTC)
  • Pressure to pay fast. Honest businesses give you time. Never pay anyone who insists on a wire transfer, gift card, or cryptocurrency, and never deposit a check and send money back. (FTC)
  • Fake debt collectors. The CFPB says that, in general, no one has to pay someone else's debt after they die, unless it's a shared debt or state law requires it. Don't give out Social Security numbers, birth dates, or account numbers. Ask for the details in writing. A real debt collector must give them. (CFPB)
  • Identity theft. Notify the credit bureaus (see above). If you think someone used your spouse's information, report it at IdentityTheft.gov. (FTC)
  • Report a scam at ReportFraud.ftc.gov. (FTC)

Grief support in Houston

Grief can feel like sadness, anger, guilt, or numbness. These feelings are normal. You don't have to carry them alone. (Houston Hospice)

  • 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline Call or text 988
    Free, confidential, 24/7. Not only for a crisis: you can call if you just need someone to talk to.

    Source: 988lifeline.org

  • Hospice bereavement programs
    If your spouse was in hospice, call the hospice and ask about its bereavement program. For example, Houston Hospice supports the loved ones of its patients for at least a year after a death. It also runs free, open grief support groups for any adult who has lost a loved one, at 1905 Holcombe Blvd. No registration needed. It asks that you wait 4 to 6 weeks after the death before attending. Call 713-677-7155.

    Source: Houston Hospice, Bereavement Support

  • GriefShare
    Weekly support groups, in person and online, often hosted by churches, for anyone grieving (Christian-based; Houston Hospice and Bo\'s Place are non-religious options.) a death. You can join anytime during the 13-week cycle. Cost ranges from free to about $25 for the workbook. Find a group at GriefShare.org.

    Source: GriefShare

  • Bo's Place 713-942-8339
    Grief support for children, teens, families, and adults, in English and Spanish, including support groups. Learn more at BosPlace.org.

    Sources: Bo's Place; Houston Hospice, Bereavement Support

  • Harris County Area Agency on Aging (age 60+) 832-393-4301
    For older adults and caregivers: benefits counseling (Medicare, Medicaid), information and referral to local services, caregiver support, and meals. More in our senior help guide.

    Source: Houston Health Department, Senior Services

Printable checklist

Print this page, or copy this list onto paper. Check things off as you go. It's okay to skip around.

First days

  • Ask the funeral home to report the death to Social Security
  • Order certified copies of the death certificate
  • If a veteran: call the VA about burial (800-535-1117)
  • Start a folder for papers and a notebook for calls
  • Ask someone you trust to help

First weeks

  • Call Social Security about survivor benefits and the $255 payment (1-800-772-1213)
  • Tell your spouse's employer
  • If a veteran: tell the VA (800-827-1000)
  • Tell health, auto, and home insurers
  • Tell banks, credit card companies, and lenders
  • Tell Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion
  • Cancel the driver license; ask the county tax office about the vehicle title
  • Handle mail with USPS
  • Cancel voter registration and passport

First months

  • Check your own health coverage (COBRA, job plan, or HealthCare.gov)
  • Look for life insurance (NAIC Policy Locator) and pensions (employers, PBGC)
  • Learn about probate at TexasLawHelp.org
  • Call free legal help if you need it
  • Find a grief group, or call or text 988
  • Big money decisions can usually wait. A qualified professional can help if you want one.

Questions people ask

Do I need to report the death to Social Security myself?

Usually not. Funeral homes generally report it. If no funeral home is involved or it didn't report, call 1-800-772-1213. (SSA)

Can I apply for survivor benefits online?

No. Call Social Security at 1-800-772-1213 (TTY 1-800-325-0778) or contact your local office. (SSA)

How long do I have to apply for the $255 payment?

You must apply within 2 years of the death. (SSA)

Do I have to pay my spouse's debts?

The CFPB says that, in general, no one is obligated to pay someone else's debt after they die, unless it's a shared debt or required under state law. A lawyer or free legal aid office can explain how this applies to you. Free legal help is listed above. (CFPB)

Phone numbers in one place

Sources

We used official sources and the websites of the organizations listed. All were checked on October 14, 2026.

  1. Social Security: Survivor benefits, What you could get, and Survivors benefits FAQ
  2. Social Security: What to do when someone dies and Lump-sum death payment
  3. USAGov: Agencies to notify when someone dies and How to get a certified copy of a death certificate
  4. Medicare: Report a death
  5. Texas DSHS: Death Records and Persons Qualified to Request Records
  6. Houston Health Department: Birth and Death Certificates
  7. VA: Burial benefits and memorial items and About DIC
  8. TxDMV: FAQs (transfer from a deceased owner)
  9. USPS: How to Stop or Forward Mail for the Deceased
  10. New York Department of State: Protecting a Deceased Loved One's Identity
  11. California Attorney General: Identity Theft and the Deceased
  12. U.S. Department of Labor: Death of a Family Member
  13. HealthCare.gov: Special Enrollment Periods
  14. NAIC: Life Insurance Policy Locator
  15. PBGC: Find unclaimed retirement benefits
  16. TexasLawHelp: Probate Court Basics, Small Estate Affidavits, Small Estate Affidavit guide, and Estate Administration in Texas
  17. Texas State Law Library: Probate, Informal Methods
  18. Harris County Probate Courts
  19. Lone Star Legal Aid: Houston Office
  20. Houston Volunteer Lawyers and Harris County Law Library: Finding Legal Help
  21. FTC: Imposters prey on families preparing for a funeral and What to Know About Identity Theft
  22. CFPB: Debt collector calls after an obituary
  23. 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
  24. Houston Hospice: Bereavement Support
  25. Bo's Place
  26. GriefShare
  27. Houston Health Department: Harris County Area Agency on Aging

Not legal or financial advice. This guide is general information to help you get started. It is not legal, financial, investment, or tax advice. For financial decisions, talk with a qualified professional. What Would Jesus Prompt? is not a government office and is not part of any organization listed here. Always confirm with the sources above. Last checked: October 14, 2026.

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